Kindness in the Workplace Pays Off

There are pivotal moments from my early career that had a huge impact on me. But first, let me tell you what happened this morning.

Just before we left for school, my 10-year old shouted 'Yay, it's Math today!' I was like 'What?!' Math is our nemesis! So I asked, 'Since when do you like Math?' She replied:

"We have this new math teacher and she is really kind. She comes in and teaches in such a kind way so I love math now."

How about that! People who know me know that I am a bit obsessed with workplace relations. A nice vs horrible leader can make or break a role, and I've had my fair share of both. I was extremely lucky in my first position at Femina to work with an amazing, supportive group of female leaders. To give you some context: I was a 21-year old graduate of colour from Peninsula Technikon who had grown up in Mitchells Plain and Kensington (Cape Town) respectively. I had never been to a museum, the only 'restaurant' I'd eaten at was Spur and growing up, I couldn't afford the magazines that I was now writing for. Yet there I was, a writer for an upper-middle class, largely white, mature female demographic in the 35-50 age range. I was also the youngest and only person of colour on the production team. It seemed like a recipe for disaster - but you know what prevented that? KINDNESS.

Image: My parting gift when I left Femina in 2007.

My first editor was Janet Heard. There are three major things I remember about her:

1. In the beginning, without fail, after I nervously emailed my copy to her, she would return with a printed version stained with red ink and say 'Don't worry, it's not wrong'. And then we would sit down and work through the changes, zero stress caused. 

2. She once asked me why I had used the word infamous in a text, and (gosh - my face still burns) I had thought it meant MORE famous! I wanted the floor to swallow me when I googled it afterward. But she never batted an eyelid, just enquired and let me fix it.

3. That time I told her I'd found an amazing place in Cape Town called Cape Cod! I am literally covering my face while I type this. I just never submitted that one.

There were others. Vanessa Astrop, our lifestyle editor, was insanely patient with me while doing the events and art pages. Again - never shaming, always enquiring, gently suggesting.

At our first year-end party, I got a bit tipsy and cried that it was unfair to have the best job in the world first. And I was right - it was unfair, but also valuable. Whenever I encountered toxicity in the workplace after that, I knew that it did not HAVE to be like that. And later, when I found myself leading, I led - and still lead - with empathy, particularly when I am working with people with under-resourced histories, who do not know what they don't know. The result has always been strong, positive and healthy work relationships.

*I always recommend this TED Talk on the consequence of incivility in the workplace: https://bit.ly/4hYQUPu -it hits the bottom line.